wad can i say??
im speechless..
tats the word..
speechless..
coz why??
i dunno..
the past few weeks was lyk soo sickening..
i dunno how it started..
n i dunno how to end it..
things are getting more n more complicating..
we've been trying to keep the relationship going..
i sensed that there's something wrong..
and until now im trying to figure it out..
it seems that we're drifting apart den being closer..
wad u said was true..
relationship is not about seeing each other evridae..
but rmmbering why we are still together..
bcoz we love each other..
but why are we drifting apart??
????????????????????????????
when will we solve all this??
when will all this end??
oh my..
being at home doing nothing makes me tink n tink of it..
and in the end, im the one getting sick..
having that sickening fever..
n my throat is soo sickening..
ergh!!!
i've been asking soo many ppl on wad am i supposed to do..
i dont want to run away from all this..
i want to face it..
and i even ask my ex,umai, on wad to do..
tanx for the advise..
this sunday is our third month's anniversary..
n all tis is happening now..
who would want to celebrate it with heartache and all..
tis is the longest relationship i ever had..
n the challenge now for me is to hold on..
i can still rmmbr when we get to noe each other..
friday..
7th april 2006..
and i rmmbr going to skool with u on that wednesday, 18th october 2006..
the first time ever i went to skool with a gurl wen im skooling in jwss..
love struck us on the 4th of november..
dats the date when we got together..
i still rmmbr all those things that u asked before we go steady..
n during that time, im having my 'O' levels exams..
on the 7th of november, when we missed each other too much, u asked me to fetch u frm skool..
i still rmmbr that nyte..
i had my english exams the next day..
u went back from la salle or dunno wad..
watch the drama..
n that was the first time i met u since we are together..
i still rmmbr sitting with u in the bus..
n i send u to undr ur house..
n the first kiss that we had..
it made me feel as though im in the seventh heaven..
then things went on smoothly..
i rmmbr that u accidentally ironed ur hand n there's mark..
den ur leg oso got mark kena bike's tyre..
syafiq tompang u..
then..
it was jam n hop..
i was feeling lyk shit..
sorry..
dad's in hospital..
operation..
anak maner yang tak risau..
dad's fine..
den it was mt. ophir trip..
i still rmmbr that i walked behind u n u asked me to walk in front of u..
n i still rmmbr the moment we were together on the top of mount. ophir..
and we went back to the resort..
den that nyte..
i rmmbr u telling me that u were hungry at the balcony..
bcoz u were sick n vomit out the burger aishah bought for u..
den i went back to my room n get u maggi mee..
den we talk together..
den u wanted to slyp..
and i went back to my room..
den there's misunderstanding..
and for the most stupid reason, i ask for a break..
without even asking for explaination..
the anger in me was controlling me..
i am totalli not myself..
den i rmmbr at the restaurant..
when we were eating..
n i notice that u were looking at me, n i looked back at u..
n that was when i realised, i still love u..
back in singapore..
i rmmbr talking to u at that pondok..
pondok sedih..
that was wad my bros call it..
n that is where u scolded me for my wrongdoings..
i was regretting evriting..
n aishah n shafiqah was scolded..
sowie...
den, u went away..
n i went home, not noeing wad to do..
the next few days..
i was like, wanting to be back together with u..
n im the one who was in tears when im the one who ask for breakup..
n on the 4th of december..
u agreed to patch up with me..
n on the 13th of december, went out wit ur frens to LOT 1..
den the next day, went to visit awin at NUH..
den off to the BBQ for the campers..
in the bus no. 13, u asked me why i like the no. 7..
den i tickle2 u..
n i love to see ur reaction..
den i rmmbr the advertisement..
mane ade.. tkdela.. ahaha..
i still rmmbr that u n ur frens laugh lyk crazy at mcd..
den we went to the bbq pit..
and walk2 at the shore..
then at the batu yg besar..
then we went to that slippery jetty..
that was where u hugged me..
n i kiss u..
at nyte, went home..
we hold each other's hand..
reached boonlay, u went back by taxi..
i rmmbr u saying that u love me, but onli a little..
den u went back, n i went home..
den the marks u made on my hand..
that was the last time that we went out together..
den, there were times wen u asked me if we have no time for each other..
and wad happen if we drift apart..
i dont lyk it wen u said that..
its not that i dont want to face it..
its juz that, being in the relationship, we shudn't be toking bout all tis..
we should talk about how we are going to be closer and have time..
not the opposite..
den..
i've been working..
n its hard..
bcoz i juz kept tinking bout u..
and why i quit is not onli bcoz im sick n tired of it..
but the main reason was bcoz i want to have more time with u..
wen u said im juz a bf by name..wen u said that u can have another bf without me noeing..it was soo hurting..that i dont even want to believe that u said that..how wud u feel if i said that to u??relationship is about give n take..
its very essential in relationship lyk wad umai said..
i treat her the way i want to be treated..
n i've given her the easiest weapon to hurt me bcoz all tis while i've been saying 'i love u' too much to her..
oh my god..
i miss going out with her..
i miss seeing her melatah wenever i tickle her..
i miss evriting about her..
i miss the good times that we had..
the most thing i miss the most is her, herself..
dear god..
tunjukkanlah hambamu ini ke arah yang btol..
tunjukkanlah hambamu ini apa yang harus dibuatnya..
amin..
today..
sucks..
im loosing my voice anitime now..
ohh..
im soo gonna watch TAA tat show on tv..
=)
Life keeps on going.....................
